This, is a load of shit:
People are always blamed for their self-hate, yet nobody tried to prevent it from festering when the fat girl or the girl with the glasses had dog shit thrown at her, had her hair lit on fire, and got tied to a tree during a thunderstorm because dozens and dozens of boys thought that would be an appropriate punishment for her appearance. Nobody missed a chance to blame her own attitude when all the men looked the other way or scoffed at the thought of giving her a chance. Even if her attitude or personality couldn’t have been the cause because nobody wanted to get a taste of it after having seen her physical shortcomings.
Everybody blamed it on the rise of the Internet when the fat girl became a recluse and everybody assumed her bitter attitude is the cause and not the result of a lifetime of rejection by what she needed most: a lover who desired her and who thought there was nothing more desirable than her. Fat girls and “ugly” girls are taught not to have standards, to make do with whatever idiot will take them, settle for whatever volunteers if you will.
Even my own mother sometimes blames me for being a 30-year-old single because I didn’t want the fat, old, stupid, smelly Nigerian who was oh so charming, the homeless alcoholic who really only had his looks going for him, or the guy who was the walking definition of “ugly”. No, she never liked any of those for me, but they are examples of what I logically rejected when my mother and society thought I should have settled for them rather than nothing. As a fat girl, I don’t get to be picky. I don’t get to want Prince Charming, the one who raises my blood pressure to dangerous levels and the one who may, God forbid, be good-looking. I don’t get to hope for true love and for the one who makes me happy rather than just treat me right. I need to want a man who wants me, treating me right comes in second. The fat 50-year-old Nigerian would have treated me right and he smelled of rotten cheese, not to mention he was hideous. No, I don’t hate blacks. I hate old fat ugly blacks hitting on a girl half their age, as I hate old fat ugly white men hitting on young chicks. So should I have married him? A repulsive lump of middle-aged grease, because he was nice? Is that all a fat white girl can hope for?
And then everyone gasps in surprise when she disagrees that it’s all her fault. Experiences like mine are why fat and “ugly” girls hate themselves. Others MAKE them hate themselves by decent people rejecting them, and only other rejects desiring them. I don’t want to be desired by regular/typical rejects. I don’t want to be the consolation prize someone settles for. I don’t want to be the manifest of someone’s poor taste or weird fetish. I don’t want to be a reject who has to make do with other rejects. But being repeatedly made a reject through rejection, and repeatedly being courted by other rejects, is what fuels self-hate. It never, ever, comes from within. Others need to tell you you’re worthless before you think you are.
Children are simple creatures who are born with only one concern: themselves and loving/gratifying themselves. Self-hate is an unnatural thing to come from within. It needs to be taught because it’s against a child’s primitive instinct of self-love which fuels the desire for self-preservation.
Meaning nobody hates themselves before a significant number of people tells this person that he or she should hate him/herself. Self-hate and a bad attitude is a result of rejection, not the cause. Nobody rejects themselves before significant individuals or numbers of people start giving reasons. It’s not natural. Vanity and narcissism are natural. Self-hate is one step away from letting your predators spot you, hunt you down, and eat you. Such an attitude is beaten into you. It does not come from within, ever.
Do you think a disfigured and deformed child who lives in a sheltered environment where nobody dares sneer or scorn at it or show any negative reaction, will think of itself as ugly, a freak, or unlovable? No. Look at Adalia Rose. Sorry, she’s ugly. But no one she ever encounters, tells her so. Everyone around her makes sure she feels pretty, so she believes she is. She is not aware of her appearance being typically considered a bad thing, because nobody teaches her to think that way. Neither did I until others started to bully me for being fat. Children don’t hate their appearance until they get punished for it. People become uncomfortable with their flaws when they are pointed out as flaws by others.
Weigh on me. 