Body Terrorism isn’t real?

Body terrorism isn’t real and no one wants fat people to kill themselves.

mobile.abc.net.au/news/2015-12…

Except, those 2 statements are ignorant and factually incorrect. When society tolerates large parts of itself plus the media shaming, hazing, discriminating against, and ridiculing overweight people, that society is hardly any more advanced than one that arrests women for not covering their hair. Fat people, women especially, are being terrorized all their lives and smugly expected to hate themselves. Sometimes this terrorism is thinly veiled in “health concerns” not shown in similar harassing fashions to smokers and other way less healthy people, meaning it’s really just a fib as nobody can possibly be sincerely concerned with a stranger’s weight-related health if not with a smoker’s or an alcoholic’s – plus, concern isn’t voiced by ridicule and unsolicited, demoralizing commentary.
Unlike Iranian women who uncover their hair, fat women in the West may not be legally prosecuted or punished, but they are beaten and bullied as children, and shamed and ridiculed as adults, if not personally, then by blanket fat hate, and little is done about it other than victim-blaming: “So just stop being fat” or, while kinda hard to convince an impressionable child it’s possible to be lovable when everyone is violently hating you, “Nobody ever gonna love you if you don’t love yourself”, which is nonsense, because you can love yourself all you want and still be brutalized and no child sets out hating herself – self-hate is conditioned, not inherent. I don’t know of any fat girl/child who hated herself for being fat before getting repeatedly and meticulously bullied for it. Plus, me hating myself entitles no one else to attack me in any form or fashion.

Fat hate, and (mostly women’s) fear of fatness, is a huge contributing factor to body image issues, eating disorders, and depression leading to suicide. But since the hate continues and is tolerated in school, in professional settings, while shopping, pretty much everywhere and accepted as a thing of daily life, there isn’t much a fat person can do other than suffer to lose weight in order to stop suffering from being dehumanized by society (and usually failing, while not owing anyone thinness to begin with and being an equal, worthy human being at 500 lbs as much as at 80). And failing that, many kill themselves, and nothing changes, meaning society accepts it. Just look at the internet’s response to suicides. Pretty thin girl: poor thing, so young, so pretty, why? Fat person? Lots of victim blaming and posthumous belittling and diminishing the cruelty the person suffered leading up to the suicide. Shouldn’t have been so fat then. Fatty got their giant butt hurt. If the fat person’s suicide gets any attention at all.

Hand these cards to people of color, disabled people, anorexic or mentally ill people, the world would be up in arms. But since it’s “just” fat people who have no right to respect and dignity, as confirmed by entertainment media who mostly cast us as a source of comic relief or villainy, we’ll just have to torture ourselves to lose weight in order to be treated like equal human beings, right?

#FatLivesMatter
#BodyTerrorism
#FatShaming
#London
#Society

Thanks, Doc.

Yesterday I went home from the doctor’s with a wide smile on my face and a feeling of accomplished world conquest in my chest. This doctor’s visit was well worth its 20 Shekels and the 30 minute walk because apparently, the practice was not “just next to the mall” after all.

I went to see endocrinologist Dr. B. because I was starting to suspect my thyroid to be behind my body’s refusal to shed those pounds. Thanks to radical self acceptance activists’ sites like The Militant Baker or The Body is not an Apology, and the realization that all women, no matter what their weight, are raised to feel some kind of insecurity, I had already not just made peace with, but learned to love my body. Which changed not only my perception of my body, but of everything around it, too.
But I still want to know why I had to miss out on everything for hating my body for so long. Just ,why. After all, a gastric bypass did nothing, atkins combined with extreme gym-hitting and daily hours of swimming did nothing, a month-long attempt at pro-ana did nothing, nothing did anything. I only lose weight when I’m not even trying to, and shoveling McDonald’s, Snickers, and coke for lack of time to cook. Yet my body has, for the last 12 years or more, kept returning to the same weight over and over. So, why?
After I’d ordered eltroxin off eBay to see how my thyroid responds, and finding that I lost a bit of weight and felt better overall, I took these findings and my questions to Dr. B. A doctor who is among the rare gems of doctors who don’t dump all of your health problems on your weight, or dismiss them to tell you to get skinny instead. Because that attitude is an atrocity. “Doc, I have mood swings and suicidal thoughts that terrify me.” – “Yeah but first, here’s a referral to a dietitian.”… “I can’t turn my neck without excrucia–” – “What have you tried in terms of weightloss?”… “Doctor, please check my pelvis and hormones, I’m just not getting pregnant.” – “Lose the weight and you will.”… “Doctor, I suffer from migraine and falling asleep uncontrollably.” – “Yes, and here’s the card of a dietitian so we can make you look a little more appetizing.” (the latter were the exact words of the school doctor, a woman no less, when I was 14, and I think her head needs to roll for crushing what little self-love is left in an insecure fat teenage girl, with her choice of words).

Dr. B however, took a good look at my blood work, my med history, and at me, and said: “Nope, your thyroid is normal.” After several questions, answers, and theories, Dr. B said what all those “I bash fatties because they’re unhealthy” people out there should let sink in deep:

“Though, look. I’ve seen your bloodwork and your medical history. I’m looking at you. You’re not at any risk, your stats are good. You are what’s called healthy obese. You don’t need to lose weight.”

Oh yes.

Diet Experience: Pro-Ana

WARNING: Pro-Ana is a movement promoting deliberate efforts of becoming and staying anorexic. That shit isn’t funny, it kills you, and before it does, it makes you ugly, sick, and miserable. Ironically, these Ana girls tend to know that.

Desperate, I tried it 2010. Being actually morbidly obese, made it sound safe and reasonable, and it’s one of my best non-surgical attempts yet. Here’s how I did it:

1. I collected Ana and Thinspo (“thinspiration”, images and quotes glorifying exreme thin-ness) to look at at all times, and instructions. Basically things to keep me focused on my goal. My goal wasn’t to be sickly thin, but to lose huge amounts of weight and fit into whatever I liked.

2. I threw away all food, all table ware etc. except the bare necessities. 1 plate of each size and shape, and one piece of each kind of silverware basically.

3. I bought food that was Ana-approved, and only as much as I’d eat in the coming days, no stocking. I made sure it was food I liked that that would kind of fill me or at least keep me in good spirits. Fish, white cheese, broccoli, etc.

4. I obsessed over how much I hated my body. I deliberately obsessed and hated. Even in a good mood, when I felt silly about it, I still sat down and told myself I was hideous. I did this and looked at my thinspo every time I wanted to eat. Slept a lot to pass time without thinking of food, this includes sleep aid abuse. Went outside much, as I had trouble eating in public. Looked at pictures of fat people thinking hateful thoughts.

I kept this up for about a month and if it weren’t for the 2 facts that ruined it all, I might have stayed Ana. The 2 facts are:
1. That kind of diet exceeds my discipline. I can’t work the hours I signed for at my job, how am I gonna keep Ana-ing? I like food, not just for boredom, I actually enjoy good food. I enjoy life (or I try). That is why I like to eat.
2. There is no way in hell to stay healthy, strong, and beautiful on Ana. Beauty isn’t just an issue of weight. The hair of anorexic or severely malnourished people, is hideous.

I lost 4 kilos that month. Gained 7 the month after because for fuck’s sake, come on, after a month of cottage cheese and water, you just need that box of fudge cake. Make that 10 boxes of fudge cake. Actually, I learned that giving in to cravings and temptations regularly, but not excessively, does more to prevent weight gain, than strictly and obsessively, yet unhappily abstaining and then breaking and binging when the temptation becomes unbearable. No, 10 boxes of fudge cake are not the example of healthy regular craving satisfaction, but of the latter: binging after withdrawal.

Nowadays, when it comes to snacking, I do snack, but delicately. Instead of binging on a whole bag of chips or a whole box of chocolates, I enjoy a bit of it until it’s all melted and drool-dissolved, and leave the rest for later, or I buy a very carefully selected, but small quantity of something. Like 1 Snickers to kill my urge for sweets for the entire day. Keep it as long as possible, and enjoy it thoroughly when I cave. Believe me, it’ll be enough. When you’ve eaten healthy and consciously all day, or all week, even better, even if you think you need a whole cake, a small slice will taste rewarding and do the job. The trick is that your small snack is high in the otherwise evil carbs. Carbs make you happy. Sugar does, too. And so does chocolate. So take something small that unites all of those. Like 1 Nutella-covered fresh egg waffle. 1 Snickers. 1 small bag of M&M’s.
Yeah yeah, I do binge when PMSing or otherwise moody. Fuck off.

Anorexia against Feminism?

Yes, yes, misleading title, I know. Not all super-thin models are anorexic, and gender equality should not be labeled “feminism” but “a matter of course”. But I got your attention, right? There.

I just thought of something: What if the modern Western culture’s obsession with unhealthily skinny females (and muscular men) doesn’t so much spring from beauty ideals, but power issues? Being very skinny, so skinny you could jam a third leg between your thighs, isn’t sexy to most men. Super-skinny girls are often difficult in bed. They are difficult in relationships what with their constant obsession with weight and looks rather than just relaxing and cuddling instead of getting up early to look perfect for the day. 

But what they are first and foremost, is fragile-looking. They look fragile, weak, helpless, like that young child princess you want to carry on your arms and protect because she really, really needs it. And didn’t the whole skinny craze kind of start around the same time as the “liberation” of women and women rights? Isn’t it suspicious how the more independent from men women become, the more the beauty ideal of the super-thin, super-pale, super-fragile looking girl-woman is propagated? Young, thin, innocent, and maybe a bit dumb (blonde). Aka utterly dependent on the strong, authoritarian male. Like a child or a sick person. I mean, if it’s female but flat as hell, it’s easily described as child-like, and what are children, if not dependent and subject to adult male authority? Just like women used to be?

So, is the whole skinny propaganda really due to insecure males who fear for their position of power in the human society, government, and economy, the human hierarchy system? Is it because they want women to become/stay weak and dependent? By promising to consider them beautiful and desirable on the one innegotiable condition that they be weak? Is it brain wash, under that objective, maybe?

I think I might be on to something.